


Careful Who You Sext

by SucculentHyena



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Humor, M/M, Man babies get upset seeing an unwanted dick pick, One Shot, Sexting, Soliciting Nudes, Toxic Masculinity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25175794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SucculentHyena/pseuds/SucculentHyena
Summary: Three Shield recruits find an unlocked phone in the locker room, and when the phone owner's girlfriend starts sending texts, they see an opportunity to have some fun.Until they realize their mistake.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 53
Kudos: 318
Collections: Stucky Bingo 2020





	Careful Who You Sext

**Author's Note:**

> My fill for the Stucky Bingo 2020, "Sexting" square.
> 
> See end notes for expanded warnings for this fic.

“ _Time!_ ” Captain Rogers yelled, calling an end to the exercise. Josh fell to the mat huffing next to Andrew who was in a similar state, both their shirts soaked with sweat. Devin managed to stay on his feet, bent over with his hands on his knees and gasping for breath.

“Good work everyone, I’m seeing real improvement here. Keep up your off-training and you might actually score a point next time” Rogers called, referring to the 68-0 score on the board. Josh groaned. What an _asshole_.

Someone had decided that a good exercise for the group of twenty-six Shield recruits was to spar with _Captain America_ in a one-on-twenty-six match of flag football- except there was no _football_ , it was just a lot of flag grabbing. More of a weird game of tag, really.

At first they’d laughed, because _come on_. To pass the exercise they didn’t even need to get his flag, they just had to make it the whole time without their flag being grabbed by the Captain. Statistically, a few of them would make it to the end, and really, what kind of challenge was that?

An impossible challenge, it turned out. Nobody had made it to the end so far, and not only did Captain Rogers grab their flags, he’d grab them _twice over_. Once you were out you had to run two laps, and then you got tossed back into the game just to suffer some more.

This was their third time doing this exercise, and not a single person had gotten to the end with their flag intact. Nobody but Captain Asshole of course, who looked absolutely delighted at the end of every exercise, like it was the best part of his day to watch twenty-six highly trained recruits flail around like amateurs.

“I’ll see you all next week” he called, making his way to the showers with a jovial wave goodbye.

Josh watched him leave enviously, because while the Captain’s role was done here, the rest of them still had another hour of training to finish before they got to leave.

The hour turned into an hour and a half when their trainer ordered extra laps. By the end of it they hit the showers aching and groaning at the intense workout they’d just been put through.

“Ugh, I can’t believe this day” Devin groaned as he dried his hair. Josh made a noise of agreement, searching through his locker for his deodorant. Andrew didn’t bother making a sound, opting to lay on the bench in the locker room silently, his towel still loosely draped over his waist and his arm over his eyes like he was napping.

_Mrrr-mrrr!_

The sound of vibrations had Josh and Devin turning to its source, looking curiously at the bench Andrew was on. Andrew moved his arm off his face and frowned, reaching blindly underneath the bench until he pulled up a nondescript phone.

“Whose phone’s this?” Andrew muttered, turning it to look at the screen.

It was the same plain style as any other official Shield phone and could’ve belonged to anyone in the locker room. Josh wondered which guy in their group was dumb enough to leave his phone outside his locker-

“Oh shit, this dude didn’t lock his phone!” Andrew exclaimed excitedly as he opened the home screen.

Scratch that, which guy in their group was dumb enough to leave his phone _unlocked_ in the men’s locker room?

A smile crept across all three of their faces as they realized what this meant.

“Oh man, what a nerd. Look at his background” Andrew laughed, showing them the image of a white cat in a little Captain America sweater.

“Haha, lame! Change it to a butt” Devin said gleefully.

“A _butt?_ What are you, twelve? It’s dick or bust man, grow up” Andrew scoffed, already searching for the perfect image online.

“Well at least put it as his lock screen, get the buildup going”

“ _Oh_ , now there’s an idea”

“Do porn apps exist? What are the sketchiest apps we can put on here?”

“Are we renaming all the contacts dirty or do we fuck with him and switch their names-”

_Mrrr-mrrr!_

The phone vibrated again with another text, pausing the discussion.

“… let’s see who it is” Andrew said, already tapping on the text app. He was sitting up now, and the three of them crowded around to read.

> Today 1:27 PM
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Hey, what do you want for supper, I’m feeling Chinese. Can have it ready for when you get home
> 
> **Me**  
>  Perfect, get my usual order but no red sauce this time
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Got it
> 
> **Me**  
>  Thanks, love you
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Love you too
> 
> Today 3:08 PM
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Done your training thing?
> 
> Today 4:35 PM
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Done yet?
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  You gotta be done by now

“Holy shit, it’s the girlfriend” Josh grinned. Now _here_ was a chance to fuck with this dude. Guy was practically asking for it, leaving his phone out like this.

“What should I write?” Andrew asked, already on the same page.

“Play it cool, make her think it’s him” Josh instructed.

> **Me**  
>  Just got out from the showers
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Seriously? Why so late?
> 
> **Me**  
>  Exercise went late, had to do extra laps
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Wtf are you doing laps for? You run every goddamn morning already

“Jeez, who’s the fucking try-hard?” Devin muttered.

> **Me**  
>  Just part of the exercises
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  You’re awful
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Anyway I changed my mind, I want chicken wings tonight
> 
> **Me**  
>  Yeah that sounds good
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Good because I already put in the order
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Took too long to answer

“Okay, okay, pass me the phone. I wanna try something” Josh said, taking the phone out of Andrew’s hands. The other two craned their heads to see what he typed.

> **Me**  
>  Sorry babe
> 
> **Me**  
>  Can I make it up to you?
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Sure?

Josh stuck his tongue between his teeth as he thought. He’d need to finesse his next words to start nudging the conversation in the right direction. A sexual direction, that was.

> **Me**  
>  Let me do something special tonight, just the two of us
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  We already made plans for you to tie me to the bed and fuck me until I pass out, I don’t know how much more special you can make that
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  I guess we could put out some candles
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Oh wait, I’ve got those silk panties with the hole in the back I haven’t tried yet, you can fuck me in those

All three of their mouths fell open at that. “Holy shit this dude has the _best_ girlfriend, what the fuck?”

> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Shit, now I’m horny
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  You alone in the shower?

Josh barely thought it through before he was typing an answer.

> **Me**  
>  Yes.
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Great. Get your dick out

“Give me the phone” Devin ordered suddenly.

Josh brought the phone close to his chest protectively. “What for?” he asked suspiciously.

“I’m the king of dirty talk, give me the phone so I can get us nudes”

Andrew scoffed. “A breakup is what you’ll get. _King of dirty talk_ ” he derided.

“Shut the fuck up, I’m great at dirty talk”

“Hey!” Josh snapped. “This is a team effort, okay? We’re gonna think together on this one” he said, pulling what little leadership skills he had.

The other two were still eyeing each other, so Josh added, “There’s a presumably hot babe on the other end of this who might flash us some nudes, both of you get it together”

That was enough to put an end to the hostility, though when Andrew looked back over to the phone, Devin gave him the finger where he couldn’t see. Whatever, they had a more pressing matter at hand.

“I say we keep it generic, that way we don’t say anything too obviously wrong” Josh said, and the other two nodded.

> **Me**  
>  I’ve got my dick out, already hard for you
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Mmm, yeah baby, touch yourself
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  I wanna choke on that thing, get my throat fucked until I’m crying
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Shove you cock all the way in until I choke on it then keep going anyway

Andrew made a coughing noise. “ _Jesus_ , this has to be the best fucking girlfriend in the world”

> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Send me a picture of that big cock, I wanna see you

“Shit, shit, what do we do?!” Devin panicked, looked to Andrew.

“Don’t fucking look at me!”

Josh held his hand out, silencing both of them.

“Guys, this is it” he said. He typed out his next message and showed it to them, seeing their panic calm somewhat, but still remaining skeptical.

“I dunno, it’s a little obvious”

“And what if she says no?”

“We’re already fucked without the dick pic,” Josh explained, “girl like this is definitely gonna recognize if its the wrong dick. This is our best shot”

The two looked doubtful, but before they could argue Josh sent the text.

> **Me**  
>  Show me your tits first

The three of them waited, worrying at the sudden silence.

“Shit, I knew that was too much” Devin worried.

“We should’ve just sent a dick pic” Andrew bemoaned.

Josh shook his head. “She’d know the difference, and pictures take time. I bet she’d getting into some weird pretzel position, it’ll totally be worth it”

“It’s almost been two minutes, no picture takes that long!” Andrew countered.

“Just give it some time, I’m telling you she’s gonna send it-”

_Mrrr-mrrr_

The phone’s vibration made them all jump, and they all looked to it. In his bid to reassure the guys, he’d turned the phone down, hiding the screen.

“Oh god, I bet that’s an angry text” Devin cringed.

Andrew shoved his shoulder. “Quit being a downer, and why are you worried anyway? She’s not _your_ girlfriend”

“I know! I’m just getting flashbacks from other girls I dated”

“Shut it both of you,” Josh berated, “we won’t know what it is until we look. Now it’s either a nude or an upset girlfriend, neither of which will hurt us, so shut it until we see”

“Well quit talking and show us then” Andrew snapped, shifting and eyeing the phone. Devin had his hands tucked into his armpits, a worried look on his face that had Josh scoffing.

“Alright, big reveal boys” he said, turning the phone over to look.

> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  This do it for you baby?
> 
> _File Attachment (1) img.100529_

Devin and Andrew both cried out in exclamation, and Josh dropped the phone like it had burned his hand.

“Fuck! Fuck, that was a dude!” Andrew yelled.

Devin had both hands over his eyes “There was a _dick_ in that picture!”

Josh blinked his eyes, still trying to process what he’d seen. The shot had been of a man from the chest down to his thighs, taken from a high angle to get as much of his body in the picture, and there had been a _lot_ of body.

Dude was completely shredded, and he’d had one of his hands cupping his pecs like a breast, pushing it forward to show off. Going down from that was what must’ve been a twelve pack at least, followed by a porn-star cock whose after-image was still burned into Josh’s eyes.

_Mrrr-mrrr!_

Josh wasn’t even thinking at this point, and he lifted the phone purely out of ingrained habit.

> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Came already? Better be ready to eat me out if you’re gonna last that long tonight
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Fuck, hang on Nat’s calling

“ _Whose fucking phone is this!_ ” Andrew yelled, making several of the other men still changing look up curiously.

Josh sat on the bench heavily, leaning down with his chin in his hand and his elbow on his knee, head buzzing. He just… he hadn’t been _expecting_ that.

Devin was still rubbing at his eyes. “Fuck, I hate both of you” he muttered.

_Mrrr-mrrr!_

Josh numbly looked down at the phone in his hand.

> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  Whoever you are.
> 
> ❤❤ **BB** ❤❤  
>  You’re dead.

There was a deafening _BANG!_ from the locker room entrance as someone slammed open the door, loud enough to echo off the walls and draw everybody’s attention. Loud enough to shock Josh out of his stupor.

The background chatter that had been filling the locker room quieted as heavy footsteps made their way through the rows of lockers. It grew so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Even the hiss of water from the showers turned off. The footsteps kept moving with purpose until stopping at his row.

Josh looked up and froze.

_Captain Rogers_ stood at the opposite end of the lockers, a look of pure death in his eyes. Both Andrew and Devin had gone still beside him, their throats clicking as they swallowed nervously.

Captain Rogers prowled up to them, moving like a predator going for the kill. He got right into Josh’s space, and fast as a cobra he snatched the phone out of his hand. His eyes cut to Andrew, then to Devin, taking in their red faces with eyes that bore into them like ice picks.

He tucked his phone into his pocket wordlessly, continuing to eye the three of them.

When he spoke, his voice was terrifyingly casual.

“I’m not going to make any threats, because the man you were in contact with is a highly trained operative with over a twenty years experience in wetwork and espionage, and whatever he does to you is already going to be overkill”

“However, I will say that at next week’s exercise- if you’re there at all- I won’t be going easy on you anymore” then he turned away without a second glance.

In the silence of the locker room, they could all hear his steps as he left, and the soft thump as the door closed behind him. All eyes turned to the three of them, but Josh paid them no mind, too busy trying to calm his beating heart.

Devin let out a heavy sigh liked he’d been holding his breath, and clutched at his chest. “Oh man, I thought he was gonna kill us”

“Didn’t you hear him?” Andrew asked shakily, “He practically promised it!”

Josh leaned down and put his head between his knees.

“We fucked up. We really fucked up” Devin muttered.

Josh let out a shaky breath.

“Oh, we’re so dead”

“Did he say he wasn’t going to go easy on us _anymore?_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Expanded Warning: The three men in this story pretend to be the owner of a phone they found and try to solicit nudes from who they presume is the phone owner's girlfriend, showing generally toxic behaviour. When presented with an unwanted dick pick, they overreact.
> 
> For the Bingo Mods:
> 
> Title: Careful Who You Sext  
> Creator(s): SucculentHyena  
> Card number: 017  
> Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25175794  
> Square filled: B4, Sexting  
> Rating: Explicit  
> Archive warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply  
> Major tags: Humor, Sexting, Soliciting Nudes, Toxic Masculinity  
> Summary: Three Shield recruits find an unlocked phone in the locker room, and when the phone owner's girlfriend starts sending texts, they see an opportunity to have some fun.  
> Until they realize their mistake.  
> Word count: 2,400


End file.
